Once you have had a taste of success, it is hard to settle for anything less, I guess that is the line that best describes my results, having good results knowing that you could have had better is a terrible feeling. I am writing this now to hopefully get some closure on my less than satisfactory performance this semester, i have come a long way since getting abysmal results in primary school and at lower secondary level, i would have never seen myself being the top few in my cohort.  Now that i am no longer in that position, i have mixed feelings about it, firstly no longer being first opens up a void in my heart, i guess i always needed the recognition for being the best more than i thought so but then again no longer being first pulls all the pressure and expectations off me, no longer would i be surrounded by questions and concerns about my performance. Hopefully i will be able to do better now that i dont have to do better, my results this semester has also opened up my eyes about how lazy i have been this semester. The unfortunate thing now is that i can never be as appreciative of my relatively good gpa as i would have been in the past. 

I can't say that i am happy with the way things have turned out, of course i would have much preferred to maintain my gpa but that's the reality of life, we can't always get what we want and i would just have to suck it up and stay positive, no point letting a minor setback defeat me.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other. Abe Lincoln
Never let what others say about you batter your determination, failing is but just a part of success, wade through clouds of cynicism and prove them wrong 

I swapped my innocence for pride

I have never really been able to grasp the importance of family until i saw a video today about people working abroad finally going back to their families after over 10years, many of them left just when their children were growing up to work overseas so that their children are able to have a decent life and education. The moment when the reunite with their family is just so touching, many of us have overlooked the importance of being a happy family, the problem with us humans is that we only truly feel the importance and impact something/someone has made on our life after we have lost them. I see many teenagers nowadays mistreating their parents, their siblings and i ask to what end? Your family is probably the closest kin you will ever have in your life, literally the same blood flows through your veins, what good are you if you cannot even appreciate your own family members. It is true that disputes are inevitable but harboring vengeance is just so tiring and frustrating especially if you practically live under same roof with the person. Picture this, if you fell out with your sibling when you were a teenager and never spoke for the rest of your life, when he/she passes away, all the guilt will come crashing down on you, likewise with your parents, the point is don't wait until you have lost something precious then you start to realise the actual value of it. 

Despite running into bumps my family, i still treasure and love them, they are probably the only people who i will willingly give my everything for. Always put your family in front of your friends. they will be the ones that will treat you the best.

The beauty of a moment in life is that it is fleeting, whatever we do or say in that moment cannot be unchanged, sometimes we might do the right thing and sometimes we might not. When we do not, regret surface, regret is an emotion that is felt when someone feels dissatisfied, ashamed or depressed by his actions at that time and wished that he/she had not committed the mistake or had done it correctly. However, the fact is that it is sometimes not possible for us to perform the right way in the heat of the situation, as such regrets are inevitable in life, we will not really know the result of your actions unless the action is made and sometimes it is better to make the mistake rather than not taking any action at all. The regret will be greater then in that situation, nothing is done at all because then we will never know the results, at least after we commit the mistake, we are able to move on and be able to learn from our mistake, like shakespeare said, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have love at all.

We'd all love life to be perfect but the reality is often the contrary, we fall out of love, lose our job, make mistakes here and there but that is the beauty of life, if life was perfect and all, it would be horribly mundane, the reason as to why we see that a perfect life with no bumps along  the way would be enjoyable is because of the bad times, we enjoy the good times because of the bad times.Think of it as playing a computer game, if we cheated our way through the game, we would get bored easily but if we played by the rules, the challenges would make it that much more attractive to play, in the same way, life would not be interesting without challenges. 

What i am saying here is that life would be much more fulfilling if we embraced the bad times and live life without regrets, people spend too much time brooding over their regrets and whining about how fucked up their lifes are. There are somethings in life that we cannot control or change and those things go bad, it is very hard to stay optimistic and happy, we might not be able to change those things but we are able to change the way we feel about those things, we have a choice to BE happy instead of going all defeatist and depressed .

P.S. When i am sad, i stop feeling sad and feel awesome instead, true story.- Barney Stinson

It's 3.45am in the morning and i should really get some sleep before i start spouting more crap

 Feel no sorrow, Feel no shame, come tomorrow, feel no pain.

I'll never look behind me, my troubles will be few

 Somewhere in a lonely hotel room

There's a guy starting to realize 

That he's eternal fate has turn it's back on him

It's 2am

 "Die reinste freude ist die schadenfreude" Our purest joy comes when the people we envy get hurt 

Nothing beats sitting alone in your house listening to blues rock in the night. Sometimes we all just need a break from life, especially when there seems to be a lot going on in your life. We all need a break from all the expectations and stress, things that you are tired of doing but you still have to continue doing. How nice would it be if life was all enjoyment, why must there be so much hatred, jealously, selfishness, skepticism, It is so tiring for you and all the people around you. I dream of a day where everyone would be able to live together harmoniously, for now we can only tolerate and continue tolerating...

when the parents argue, the children suffer the most.

Current Music: hotel california

Everything that troubles you

Everything that pulls you down

Everything that is not right

Everything that is not important

Let it go

It is not my fault that i am born poor but it is my fault that i die poor